just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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