i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
