??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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