your thong is hanging out like whoa
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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