you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize