...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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