Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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