Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
