Small penises have feelings too.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
