So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
