Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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