i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
