there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
