Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
