So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
