im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
