Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize