you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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