Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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