so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
