I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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