there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
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she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
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look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I love you.
Bad choice
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