is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
