Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize