Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i already hear my dad disowning me
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long