I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement