You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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