Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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