someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize