So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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