he wants to bone in the snuggie
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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