so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
