i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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