Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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