He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize