is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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