Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
