that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
