so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
