That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
