And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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