So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
