It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize