I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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