I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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