Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
