Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
