True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
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