Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
