I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
