You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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