i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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