Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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