Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
