My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
