maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
