Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
