I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize