Your tits are I can't wait for
are you so shy because you have an std?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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