I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
