He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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