Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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