I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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