I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
