Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
