i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
