I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
tell me about the eggs
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
